Couples in a relationship are especially more susceptible to jealousy attacks, although everyone has, at one time or another, been guilty of being jealous. The important thing to remember is that jealousy can be overcome. What you need to figure out is, first, how to recognize the signs and admit to yourself that you have a problem. Once you’ve acknowledged that you’re being affected by it, you need to find out how to deal with it and in the process prevent yourself from falling under its spell again.
How do you know when jealousy rears its ugly head?
Jealousy flares up when one partner feels insecure or threatened either by a real or an imagined threat. It is oftentimes considered normal to feel a little bit of jealousy over something real. Jealousy in small doses is pretty normal as it results from your feeling of inadequacy when compared to someone or something better. For instance, you may have that feeling when a good-looking woman (or man) comes up to your partner. This situation may sometimes bring self-esteem issues to the fore. However, when you assume something more than what seems to be only a passing acquaintance, then you’re in danger of feeding your distrust and paranoia and may ultimately lead you to extreme fits of jealousy.
Another condition when a person becomes a prisoner of jealousy is when he/she has been deceived in a previous relationship and still harbors some feeling of distrust towards the opposite sex. You may recognize this person as a perfect candidate for jealousy when he/she becomes too interested in your activities to the point that he/she constantly checks-up on you, is always suspicious of friends and people you deal with on a regular basis, and sometimes, even goes through your personal stuff.
Dealing with the Green-Eyed Monster
In order to successfully keep the jealousy monster under control you have to search your feelings to try and find out the underlying cause of your jealousy. When your partner looks at another, do you feel that you’re going to lose him/her? Do you believe that he’s devoting too much time to another instead of you? When you ask yourself these questions, you will be able to determine the intensity of your jealousy and realize that if you’re behaving irrationally then the problem might lie with you.
Sometimes, it’s simply your perception of yourself that seems to be the problem. If you constantly find something wrong with yourself every time that you look in a mirror, then it may be time to correct it. Sometimes, a simple change like a haircut, or a change in wardrobe may be the solution. If you feel the need to alter your appearance through modern cosmetic surgery, then go for it, as long as you believe that doing so may boost your self-esteem and give you back your self-confidence. The key here is to change the way you view yourself in your mind.
Talking to your partner about your apprehensions may also help. You may set some rules on behavior at the onset of the relationship and commit to them. This will establish the foundation for trust between the two of you. If at any time, one of you makes a mistake, keep the communication lines open, keep an open mind and discuss the situation. Trust will develop and flourish as the relationship grows.
You also have to learn to control your emotions and confront your fears and suspicions in a rational manner. Remember that jealousy can affect everyone. You have to value the effort you and your partner have both put into your relationship. There may be a chance that your assumptions may be baseless. You wouldn’t want to ruin a good relationship if you let your jealousy control you.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
How to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship
Finding Mr. Right Online
Attract and keep Mr. Right…
The right man is what every woman looks. But does she get him. Well there are personality traits that govern which woman will get her Mr. Right which woman will not. What is right for one woman may not be right for other. The right guys have certain characteristics that separate then from the wrong ones.
Search a dating site and find thousands of profile of men there. Females with right instinct will short list a number of singles that match their profile. The right guy is just not for those who want to marry; it could be those who wish to have him just for long term sex dating, friendship, romance or even for a particular sexual preference.
When you find the right guy know how to attract him and keep him. Problem here is that men are not easy to understand and Mr. Right does not come with an instruction manual.
Understand this…
Guys fall for some women and not others...All men need a lady who gives them that 'forever' feeling.
Make a guy feel like you are the one person who understands him better. Let him know he's on your mind say all the right things to get him thinking about you. Appeal to his emotional side not his sexual side. He is not an adult swinger remember.
Make any time you spend with a man the best he's ever had. Do this to make him quickly on your very first date. Make him forget about any other girls he is dating.
Drive a man into an uncontrollable frenzy of passion and let him know you are an amazing lover even before you had sex with him. Connect his emotions with yours and send chemistry levels into overdrive.
Too much physical contact, especially in public is seen as clingy behavior. Far better to save your touches for moments that will surprise and enchant him. The single most important thing a single woman can learn - how to identify a good man. A wise matchmaker will avoid all the wrong men.
Never let a man to think you are 'needy' and 'insecure'. Never say a nasty thing about your past alliances a man does not like his women carrying dead weight.
Never speak negatively about other good looking women calling them slut, bitch, whore etc. These words spoil your image and looks like you are covering up your own insecurities.
Read articles on these tips in any Internet dating site to pursue them effectively.Sunday, April 20, 2008
Japan Cupid
Many people feel that there's a certain Asian allure, which is hard to beat. Nevertheless, it might be difficult to meet someone of Asian descent locally depending on where you live. Perhaps, even if you did, a person might have assimilated so much to local customs that some of the appeal of originating from a different, more traditional culture might be lost.
Japan Cupid definitely can fill that breach, as it lets you reach across the globe to meet someone who is still in the Land of the Rising Sun.
In fact, you'll soon discover, as you fill out a free profile that localized searches are not even on the horizon. You do have to provide information regarding your physical appearance, educational level, occupation and language skills, but since you do not give a postal, or zip code, only country, region and in some instances a city, it is clear that search options are hardly precise. Indeed, it seems you can only narrow your results down to the city-level at best.
"There's definitely a sense that many of its users are marriage-minded folks who are quite serious in their endeavors to meet someone special."
It makes no difference whether you upgrade your JapanCupid membership to a paid subscription, as the advanced search options only seem to expand criteria to include other incidentals such as height, weight and religion into your searches. Once you pay, you will be able at least to communicate with all levels of members. It is free to reply to emails, or instant messages for everyone. Only paid subscribers can participate in the group chat rooms though.
As further enticement to spend a bit extra on JapanCupid.com, they offer, for those who opt for the more expensive of two membership options, built-in translation software for your Inbox. Previously, there was an online demo of this feature, but I couldn't find it after they recently redesigned their upgrade page. Nevertheless, I can tell you that from what I've seen before, the translation software provides translated texts, which at times suffer from automatic translating that's a bit too direct. There are separate websites that will do a similar job of translating for free, so I'm not sure it's worth paying extra for this built-in option.
Most important to your success on any dating site is the number of visitors that a site attracts. You'll be pleased to find that although this site isn't tops at attracting people to its pages, it does succeed at maintaining a decent amount of traffic to its pages. There's definitely a sense that many of its users are marriage-minded folks who are quite serious in their endeavors to meet someone special. Japan Cupid might just be your best chance to meet your Japanese soul mate for life.
Korean Cupid
Korean Cupid is designed to bring together people from across the world with individuals from Korea, or Koreans living abroad as well as Koreans looking to meet each other. They do make the claim that their service is appropriate for all sorts of ends, such as dating, romance, friendship, pen pals and language exchange, but from my observations regarding some of the members' profiles, there is definitely a leaning towards more matrimonial goals on the site. I would, in fact, conjecture that such a factor is part of its success, even without attracting overly huge numbers of visitors to its pages.
KoreanCupid.com is free to join. I'll point out straightaway one thing in its favor, the ability of paid members to communicate with those not choosing upgrade right away. That definitely in my mind increases your chances of success in meeting someone, when you aren't limited to merely contacting other individuals who have decided to go ahead with a premium subscription. In the end, this ability to communicate with all members regardless of paid or unpaid status might help to compensate for something the site is lacking.
"...there is definitely a leaning towards more matrimonial goals on the site."
When you fill out your free profile, you do not give a postal, or zip code. You do provide a country, state or province, as well as a city in some cases. However, it should be clear that search results can never by very localized with such limited info. Even if you upgrade to a paid membership, you'll soon discover that even the advanced search options are limited to other additional criteria rather than narrowing down where a potential match lives geographically.
Otherwise, KoreanCupid has all the standard methods of making contact, such as onsite email and instant messaging. Group chat rooms are open to paying members, as well as free subscribers that have posted a photo as well as having received and read at least one message from a paid member. Additionally, if you opt for the higher priced of the two premium membership options you can send and receive video mail, as well as previewing video introductions posted on other people's profile.
Another special feature for the top paying members is built-in translation software for their Inbox, as well as in other areas of the site. Admittedly, from what I've seen of it, the translations do have a tendency to be somewhat direct, as they would be, if you used one of the many free translation websites on the Internet. Nevertheless, for some folks it would remain a convenient aid in communication.
Overall, Korean Cupid does well by reaching a modest, but worthwhile, number of people and providing all the services you'd expect from most any online dating site.
SOURCE: http://www.cupidsreviews.com
